Dennying Inner Feelings
by metallicbubbles
Summary: *Reposted* Lily has been falling for the famous James Potter. With her seventh year approaching, will she admit this before time runs out? And, more imortantly, will she admit it to him? (summary stinks)A Lily/James fic. Slight Petunia bashings. Plz revie
1. Prologue

This has been reposted, finally. I have just been really busy lately and never had enough time. This has been my one and only first fic so be nice people.  
  
Ok, this is a romance fic between Lily and James. Some of the characters might appear a little OOC and there's also some Petunia bashings. Sorry Petunia fans!  
  
If for some reason you do not like this pair I'm suggesting you leave now. I don't want any rude or nasty complaints about the couple.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) = scene change  
  
((Blah)) = AN  
  
'Blah' = a character's thoughts  
  
On to the story!  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
"Wake up girls! Your breakfast is ready!"  
  
Eyelids concealing beautiful emerald eyes fluttered open at the sound of her mother's morning wake-up call. Slowly, the seventeen year old teenager climbed out of her tangled bed sheets and swung her legs over the side of her bed when all of a sudden the same voice was repeated.  
  
"Lily! Hurry up before your breakfast gets cold!"  
  
"Yes, Mum," came a grumpy reply filled with fatigue.  
  
Her body ached in protest at the thought of leaving the warm, comfortable mattress. Sighing, Lily got up from the bedside and trudged towards her active, muggle kitchen.  
  
"About time you woke up, silly," her mother greeted warmly as her youngest daughter entered the kitchen. Lily's mother was a muggle, or in other words, a person unable to use magic of any kind. Her mother was a kind, gentle lady who believed you should like someone for who they are rather than their looks on the outside. Of course, since she believed in all of this she treated every person with respect and kindness. Lily loved her mother because of this, she wasn't like other muggles, witches, and wizards who walked up to Lily with heart-shaped eyes asking to go out with them.  
  
Petunia, Lily's sister, gave a loud "humph" in disgust and rolled her eyes at her mother's antics. Petunia was also a muggle and was constantly jealous of her perfect sister.  
  
For one thing, her sister was gorgeous. Lily's scarlet hair met her waistline, flowing down her back in a caressing way. In the sun, her hair glowed and shimmered creating a dazzling red-orange color look. Her slim, but well-developed frame showed all her curves but enough to keep a curious person guessing. What made her exceptionally beautiful was her stunning, jade eyes. Male OR females could get lost in la-la-land just by taking one glance into her emerald pools. One time, this annoying pizza boy came up to her doorstep and wrung the doorbell at least fifteen times before being satisfied with himself. When Lily answered the door, however, he just stood there and what appeared and big pizza saucers replaced his tiny blue eyes. Before she knew it the boy was reciting pizza poems to her. Of course, as any person would, she took the pizza box from him, closed the door, but never forgetting to pay him as she slipped money through the mail slot.  
  
Thinking of the memories and differences Petunia examined herself. She had nothing even close to that. Hideous, freckled skin and a messy bush of brunette hair with two black, beady eyes to match.  
  
Not only was Petunia furious about her sister's good looks, but Lily also had something rare and special. The trait which separated muggles from the magical world.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) Flash back (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
An owl swooped down from an open window and flew into the family room, squawking while knocking over treasured objects in the room, desperate to find a place to land.  
  
Thirteen year-old Petunia ((I'm making Petunia thirteen so when Lily's in her seventh year, Petunia's nineteen.)) screamed and got up before making a beeline behind the couch, around the dresser, on top of the counter. you get the general idea. Petunia was running around the living room like a mad person. Little eleven year-old Lily gave a tiny squeak before hiding herself behind the coffee table in an attempt to protect herself.  
  
"Yuck! Get that filthy pest out of range of my delicate face! I cannot breathe without having a clean supply of oxygen and that. that. that beast is polluting it!! Get it away! Get it away!"  
  
"Wait a minute, Petunia, there's something on its leg. Try to grab it."  
  
"What?!! Me?! My beautiful hands touch a flee-infested bird or whatever that thing is?!"  
  
"Never mind, sister, I'll get it Lily spoke through her clenched teeth trying to keep her frustration towards her sister's acts unnoticed. During all Petunia's ranting and shrieking, Lily walked out from behind the coffee table and approached the extremely confused owl. When the owl got out of its panicking stage, it finally realized what the girl was doing and happily obliged by sticking out its leg with the attached parchment. Lily took the crumpled letter, the owl probably got lost and took a few detours on the way, and read the address.  
  
Ms. L. Evans  
The family room, a little pink house  
2963 Gardenia Street  
  
Shocked, she slid her fingers in the opening and tugged at the wrapping, careful enough to not let a single rip tear through. Hands trembling, she read the letter to herself.  
  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)  
  
Dear Ms. Evans, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
Lily read on absolutely paralyzed in surprise. 'Oh boy.'  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) End Flashback (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
'Lily has everything. But me, no, I was born without looks and magic'  
  
Still frustrated, Petunia tried to think of a way to get back at her sister. After a few moments, she had an evil glint in her eyes, signally she was planning something devious.  
  
"She was probably dreaming about that stupid Potter boy again"  
  
Red tinted Lily's cheeks at the mention of this comment made by her sister. "Petunia!" Lily growled at her only sister.  
  
"Oh don't worry, sweetie. He probably has the hots for you," her mother chuckled.  
  
"Mum!!" Lily was beyond frustrated now; both her only family members ((Let's pretend the dad died or something)) were teasing her about her love life. 'I don't have a crush on him and there's no way I would ever like him. Well, he is kind of cute when he ruffles his hair as if he just came out from a quidditch match.' Lily's eyes widened at her own thoughts 'No, I do not like him that way! He's a selfish, wannabe quidditch player who craves attention and continuously shows off. Don't forget, he shows off all his talented tactics in quidditch, his lean toned, flexed muscles hidden underneath his tanned skin, his cute black eyes covered by his shiny spectacles. No!! What am I thinking?! No more bad thoughts about handsome, beautiful James. Arg! This is so annoying!'  
  
Lily, currently arguing with herself, never noticed her mother's all- knowing smile and sister's malicious grin.  
  
"Ha! See, Mum. I knew it! She's blushing."  
  
"Lily, if you knew his number maybe we could arrange something for the two of you," her mother offered while trying to keep a grin from escaping onto her face.  
  
Finally awoken from her daydreaming Lily let the words sink in. If looks could kill, they would need to hire more morticians and coroners, that is, unless they had enough people left. Lily's jaw hit the floor, her eyes, if they could get any wider from comments made before, covered her face. You couldn't even see her nose.  
  
"What?!! No!! I don't have a crush on him least of all do even like him! I despise him! And how could you get his number, his family is a bunch of wizards for goodness sake. They don't know how to use phones and they don't have them either!"  
  
"Fine, spoil my fun. Maybe there's a chance you'll see him in Diagon Alley," Her mother giggled in spite of her playful teasing. Throwing a small wink towards her embarrassed seventeen year old, Lily's mother walked out of the kitchen.  
  
'Oh yes' Petunia smirked 'just wait till I plan what's in store for her If she does meet him there' After cackling to her self, Petunia devised a plan to make Lily's life even more miserable.  
  
Meanwhile, Lily was having different thoughts. 'In Diagon Alley? What are the chances of me seeing him there? What if he really is there when I get my school supplies? What if he sees me? Maybe. just maybe.'  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
I'm stopping here. Sorry about that it was kind of a cliffy. ^_^ As I said before, this is my first fic so don't be too harsh to me.  
  
If I don't get any reviews I'm going to stop writing this, so if you want me to continue just review. No flames, they'll be used to roast my marshmallows and chocolate to make delectable treats for myself. Yummy! ^_____^  
  
Remember, no reviews, no more chappies. ^_^ So just click the little button that says 'go' and you'll have one, very happy author.  
  
Tootles! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my OC's.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) = scene change  
  
((Blah)) = AN  
  
'Blah' = thoughts  
  
Italics = emphasizing the words. I'll be using a lot during this chapter. On to chapter 2.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
'I cannot handle this!' Lily thought to herself. 'The whole time we were heading to the Leaky Cauldron Petunia was acting like a jerk.'  
  
The Evans family arrived at the front of the Leaky Cauldron, but not with out a few delays that happened on the way.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) Flash Back (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
Petunia apparently found a collection a miscellaneous amount of spiders in the attic atop of the Evan's home. She deliberately placed them in between the shoelaces of one of Lily's shoes. The spiders, of course, didn't mind. They enjoyed dark, hidden spots.  
  
When Lily found her missing sneaker she hastily shoved her foot through the opening. Lily felt something, or rather some things, as she saw a Daddy Long-legs on her sock as well as a bunch of other creepy-crawlers in her shoe.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*) End of Flash Back (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
The result was one spider-infested and one very unhappy Lily. This was only one example of the many pranks her sister pulled on her ever since she was born. However, Lily was used to all of this by now. She learned to keep her cool in front of her malicious sibling, so Petunia couldn't receive the joy of seeing her sister tiresome from all her selfish acts.  
  
Still, sometimes Petunia would pass the line. Like in the situation she was in now. Lily would turn bright tomato red and would yell her very lungs away, while Petunia just stood there smirking.  
  
'I must be cursed or something,' Lily sighed as she walked through the door of the Leaky Cauldron. 'Yep, the Leaky Cauldron sure looks the same.'  
  
Loud conversations thrown between various witches and wizards were heard. Also, the loud laughter of a very familiar voice she heard before was conjuring up his storm of laughter. Lily's eyes immediately recognized his face as she saw he was Jack, the bartender. Jack was the kind of happy-go- lucky person who seemed to be obsessed with muggle microwaves. Nevertheless, he always was willing to help someone out. His silver pupils drifted to the Lily.  
  
"Lily! Lon' time no see, eh? Your mum was jus' tellin' meh more about the mikoave."  
  
"Err. they're called microwaves," her mother corrected.  
  
"Uhh, yah. Michovaves. Anyway, how've yah been?"  
  
"Fine. I guess.," Lily murmured. 'Yeah right. My last days have been a load of crap.'  
  
"Well, glad yah've been up-tah-date. Fer meh, throw a couple beers, add some mince pies. yah know, the usual. Most people would prefer the newt stew over meh mince pies. I try to persuade them to try meh recipe but they always refuse. Last time when some witch tried it her face went white and she dashed to the restrooms. That's when- hey! What does that muggle think she's doin'?!"  
  
Petunia had her bony fingers over the cage door of three insecure Fire Ants. These ants were not the usual red ants that only bit there victim, they had a much worse defense maneuver. The 10in by 2ft ants possessed a magical energy that crackled between their tiny legs. Yes, these ants were fire ants. Each time they took a massive amount of steps the ground beneath them would cinder into ashes, or worse, start a fire. Fire Ants were easily spooked. Therefore, they were notorious for creating chaos when a danger approached.  
  
"Nooooo! Don't open the cage!!!" Jack desperately lurched forward towards the curious teen and frightened ants.  
  
Too late. Petunia already opened the cage halfway before the ants barged down the steel door and were scuttling around the room. Soon piles of ashes deteriorated the what-used-to-be floor, and small embers had lit as well. The witches and wizards who were watching the accident tried to snatch the obnoxious bugs, but would usually end up having their robes ignited in flames.  
  
"Argh! Let me try!" Jack bellowed. "Wingardium Leviosa!"  
  
The fire ants were lifted off their feet and left dangling in mid-air.  
  
"Thas' the las' time I deal with anymore of this nonsense," Jack promised himself wiping his sweaty forehead with a pocket handkerchief. The wizards and witches quickly doused the fires with water charms as others put the ants carefully back in their cages.  
  
"C'mon, girls, we'd better get going," Mrs. Evans ushered to her daughters hurriedly, to avoid the glares shot at a specific child.  
  
Naturally, you would expect a parent to punish their children for the kind of carelessness and selfishness a child might display purposefully. No, Mrs. Evans would never punish them. She was just too kind for her own good. Which was in some ways, good.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
Diagon Alley was thriving with activity. Young witches and wizards explored the different shops with wide eyes and joyful shouts, while their parents would watch their children from the side with genuine smiles. The Elderly chatted with their old friends from the past. Overall, most of them were students looking forward to a brand new year at Hogwarts.  
  
'Ok, let's see. I need Standard Book of Spells Book Seven by Miranda Goshawk, Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts by Rodney Trebuchet, and. awe man! This is one, long list!' Frustrated immensely, Lily tried her best to keep a straight face, and casually made her way into Flourish and Blotts.  
  
Looking around for her required school books, Lily didn't notice a pair of cold, steel blue eyes watching her.  
  
'Ah. There's one of them!' Lily saw her Standard Book of Spells Book Seven mixed in a tall pile with Dragons of the Ages. Just as she was about to pick up a copy, a firm hand slammed her fingers to the framed book cover. Lily clenched her teeth and held back her tears as her fingers were a washed with pain.  
  
"Well, well, well look who we have here. Mudblood, Lily Evans, eh? I heard some interesting things about you. Oh yes, very interesting things," the greediest and most despising girl in all of Hogwarts smiled wickedly at Lily. The girl, known as Narcissa Black. "Who is someone such as you doing here, Mudblood? I wouldn't think any muggle-born would be allowed to play with magic so there's no point in being here. You're not allowed here. Only the purebloods are allowed to use the proper magic materials."  
  
"You know just as well as I do that I'm allowed in here," Lily spat back at Narcissa.  
  
"That is because the ministry allows you here. What if something more powerful than the ministry took over, eh? What would you do then, Mudlblood?"  
  
"That's nothing but talk."  
  
"Oh really? I wouldn't expect a Mudblood to know that," Narcissa teased. "All those with muggle's blood flowing through their veins, poisons our reputation. You know nothing of the magic world." "Well, you're looking at one who does. Mind you, Dumbledor won't be so pleased when he here's a report on how a witch was insulting the muggle community."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure of that you filth!"  
  
The two girls stared coldly at each other before another person interrupted the girl's glaring contest.  
  
"What's going on here?" the deep voiced boomed. It was no mystery to who this person was; he wore a long, crimson robe with gold and scarlet intertwined through the edgings. He held a copy of Quidditch through the Ages in his arms. His messy black lochs covered his forehead and well- defined face. His spectacles hid his petite, ebony pupils. This person was no other than. James Potter.  
  
At the site of her enemy, Lily gaped like a fish. The only thing that came out of her was carbon dioxide, no talking, and no sign of communication. 'He's here.,' Lily then snapped her head back to reality. 'What the heck am I doing?'  
  
James noticed her sharp change and a look of concern fell to his face. "Hey are you alright, Evans?"  
  
Lily's heart sped up at the looks he was giving her. "Y-y-yes, I-I'm fine," she stuttered.  
  
"Are you sure? Your face is all red. You might have a fever."  
  
Narcissa realized she had to stop this cute interaction between the two. Being the slimy worm she was she came up with a solution. "Oh Jaaaaaaaaaaaaames. I heard there's a new quidditch store opening. C'mon, why don't you and I go check it out all by ourselves," Narcissa approached James almost seductively while batting her eyelashes.  
  
"Err. I guess. that is if Lily doesn't mind. Do you mind Lily?"  
  
The whole time Lily was having her own mental discussion with herself. 'I am such a complete dope. Why was I acting like that? Why AM I acting like this? I don't even like him. Do I?'  
  
"Do you mind, Lily?" Narcissa repeated James while giving Lily a dirty look.  
  
"What? No, of course not. You two go have some fun. If you'll excuse me, I have to get my school supplies," Lily said, trying to keep herself together. Pain flooded her heart after seeing James and Narcissa in an embrace. Well actually, one was holding on for dear life while the other one was politely trying to ask the annoying female off of him. Watching this did help some of the throbbing pain to stop, but then again, another new feeling bounced around. jealousy.  
  
"Well, in that case.," Narcissa purred while stroking James's muscled bicep. "We'd better be off."  
  
In a flash of a second, James was dragged out of the store by Narcissa. Lily tried to keep her mouth shut and pretend as if nothing had happened. But something did happen and she was feeling miserable about it. There was one thing she knew for sure and that was that she did not like what had just happened a few second ago between the two.  
  
Finding her other required books, she headed for the cashier.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
"Alright, Lily, were dropping you off here," her mother explained while the three of them stood before platforms nine and ten. "Remember no"-  
  
-"fighting, talking to adults other than the Hogwart's and Ministry of Magic's staff, hanging around the anti-muggles club, playing with dangerous objects, I know, I know," Lily interrupted.  
  
"Well, we'll see you during Christmas break," her mom smiled sadly before grinning mischievously and pinched Lily's right cheek. "Be good ok, sweetie?"  
  
"Yes, Mum," Lily responded as her mother kissed the used-to-be captured cheek.  
  
Petunia rolled her eyes at the loving gesture her mother displayed, "Yah, whatever. all I know is that I'm getting your room."  
  
Lily ignored Petunia's comment and complained to her mother, "Mum, don't do that. I'm seventeen for crying out loud and I'm going into my seventh and final year!"  
  
"Yes, but your still my little baby," her mother cooed before clinging to her youngest daughter like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Mum!! This is the public! My friends are here too you know."  
  
"Oh? Which friends? I didn't know Lily had friends."  
  
"Zip-it, Petunia," Lily calmly spoke back to her sister, who obviously was enjoying herself.  
  
"Ooooh. or are some of them more than just friends?"  
  
"I'm warning you, Petunia," Lily's voice was jumpy.  
  
"I bet its Potter, huh?"  
  
"Petunia."  
  
"Oh, yes, you definitely like him, don't you? You want to fall in his arms, while he whispers loving messages in your ear. You look deeply into each other's eyes and say"-  
  
"Shut up!!!" Lily was furious. 'I already had enough with the incidents in Flourish and Blots, but this is just ridiculous!!'  
  
Petunia snickered as she saw the look on her sister's face. "Shut up. That's a new one," she said before heading back to the car.  
  
Her mother sighed and shook her head at her children's antics. Sweetly, she placed her hands on Lily's shoulders. "Don't let her get to you, Lily. Umm, about Potter. if you do really like this boy you should tell him how you feel."  
  
"That's just the thing, Mum, I don't like him."  
  
"You say that, but do you really mean it? I've seen the way you act whenever someone mentions his name. Your actions tell me otherwise."  
  
"Mum, please. I've been going through a lot lately and I don't want things to get more complicated."  
  
"That's what life is, Lily, life is complicated. It doesn't always turn out to be what you might've planned before; it always has its twists and turns. Then it's your choice to pick which paths that life has to offer."  
  
"Thanks Mum."  
  
"Anytime. Now where are those crumb cakes they have at that concession stand?" her mother mumbled to her self before darting back and forth between the aisles looking for snacks she knew were there.  
  
"Bye!" Lily smiled at her mother before running between platforms nine and ten.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
'All the compartments are full on that side,' Lily's eyes jumped back and forth between the rooms, in search of a seat for her own.  
  
"Oy, Lil' over here!" hollered a person none other than the infamous Sirius Black. Sirius had a bright smile on his handsome facial features. He was wearing the classic Hogwarts outfit all students had to wear. Unknown to Lily, Sirius had gained a fair amount of attention over the summer from fan girls. Who could not? He had amazing abs, biceps, and what stood out the most was his complex chest muscles. His black, sleek hair was pulled back to create this "I'm so cool and your not" look. Every time he would use a very rich tone, all girls in the area would faint on the spot. What made girls especially love him was his dark, sapphire eyes that looked like they came from some type of jewelry box. To put it more simply he was hot. On fire. Burning chili peepers! ((Like that? ^_^))  
  
"Hey, Padfoot," Lily addressed before sitting in a seat across from him.  
  
Sirius's eyebrows reached his hairline as he heard his nickname. It was very uncommon to be called by it other than his buddies. "So you're finally calling me that, eh?" A few compartments over, four fifth year girls melted at his words and with a few "Thumps!" they all fell to the floor.  
  
"Oops!" Sirius exclaimed while poking his head out of the compartment to see four love-struck girls on the wood tiling. "That always happens. Anyways, I wanted to talk about something that has been doing with the rumors."  
  
"You haven't been spreading rumors again, have you?"  
  
"Err. no I haven't. That is a good idea though. I should take a mental note on that one."  
  
"NO, Sirius."  
  
"Alright, alright, I was just playing with you. About the rumors, and there is rumors Lily so don't go blaming me or the gang for them. People have been saying that there is something dangerous hidden in Hogwarts. No one knows what it is though and"-  
  
"Sirius, you have been hanging around the wrong type of people for too long," Lily smiled while shaking her head at the second-best prankster in the school. "Anyways, where's Moony and Wormtail?"  
  
Sirius was disappointed Lily didn't believe him but still answered back, "Oh, they're saving Prongs from Narcissa again. Supposedly, she's been trying to get a little too close to him. And-- Lily what's wrong with you?"  
  
Lily's fists were clenched tightly, and at the strength she was using, she could pop a few arteries if she held them any tighter. Her eyes were narrowed and a frown was very noticeable on her face. Having no idea why she was acting like this, she asked another question to feed her anger, totally oblivious to the question asked before, "What is she doing with him?!"  
  
Sirius scooted back a couple inches in his seat, nervous of the scary girl in front of him. He simply blinked before a huge grin proceeded, "Is someone jealous?"  
  
"Please Sirius, act serious for now ok? I am not jealous of that arrogant seeker and slime-ball Narcissa," even with what she said, a tiny blush appeared on her face.  
  
"Right. if you ever need me just ask ok?" Sirius was obviously amused by the situation. 'Lily never liked him last year so what was with the big change?' He stood up and started walking over to the next car containing his friends who desperately needed help from the attacking Narcissa. Then all of a sudden he threw a smirk and a wink in her direction.  
  
'He probably thinks it's funny' Lily thought. Then a few more thuds were made as more girls fell at the site of him winking. 'Hmm, probably was the whole car this time' Lily chuckled before she was carried off into dreamland.  
  
(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)  
  
Phew. That was one long chappie, well, for me it was. I hope you guys enjoyed the part with Sirius, I know I sure did. ^_^  
  
I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. It probably will still be on hiatus with school and all. Sorry! If these teachers would ever give me a break! Arrgghh!!  
  
No flames please. Requests are welcome. Please review or there will be no future chappies. ^_^ 


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